Firstly, I’m baaaaaaack. Thank you all for being patient with me. I’m still struggling a bit with feeling tired in the evenings but I am desperate to suck it up and push a post out. Sleep can wait!
So what is up with that title? Let me break it on down for you peeps.
Lactating boobs make milk. Magic milk. Milk that babies love.
Sometimes during a mothers breastfeeding relationship with her offspring, she might find for one reason or another that her magic milk is not as abundant as she would like. If she does not wish for the milk bar to shut up shop, certain steps must be made if she and her child would like to continue the boob feeding ritual.
Firstly, one must remember the mantra – supply equals demand. What this means is the more the baby feeds, the more milk the jugs will make. This is great with a squidgy newborn baby because you can attach them to your breast all the ding dong day, and hey presto, the milk shall overflow. However, not so easy with an older baby who has far more important things to do than suck on boobs all day. With older babies you can trick your boobs into thinking more is needed by pumping after feeds.
Secondly, you can take super drugs and herbs that are supposed to tell you milk ducts, those little bags of goodness that reside inside your boobs and fill with liquid gold, to get off their lazy backsides and fill up with more milk. (Disclaimer – this is my creative interpretation. I am not a doctor. Don’t sue me if your milk ducts go on strike.)
Thirdly, you can eat lots of lactogenic (yes it’s a real word) foods. The theory is they will also give your boobs a kick up the arse and force them to do a better job. Oats are probably the best known for their boob-kicking-kung-fu skills.
Lastly, alchos will tell you to drink a Guinness. Why? Because they are alchos.
So what has all this got to do with me? And more importantly, Pinterest? I’m getting to that…
In recent weeks I felt that my boobs were not living up to their full potential and I decided that I had to be proactive in making them work harder for T. I’m simply to bloody busy during the day, and heaven forbid I give up any of my valuable sleeping time, to sit around doing nothing while pumping. So that wasn’t the option for me.
I bought a little bottle full of super power by the name of fenugreek, to slap my lazy boobs around some. I felt that those pills of awesomeness gave my boobs the jump start that they needed and after a lactating slump things were feeling fuller once more. In the boobs.
However, I have since decided that taking herbs is not the thing for me and have decided to try to maintain my flowing boobs with a more natural approach, and this is where Pinterest comes into play.
I fucking love Pinterest. I could sit on Pinterst all day long repinning all the pretty pictures and saying things like, ‘that’s a great idea’, ‘I could do that’, ‘that looks so yummy’, ‘I would rock that dress’ and ‘one day…’. Up until now, all I have ever done is pin stuff. What I really want to do is actually cook some of the fabulous recipes I’ve found or make some awesome crafty shit or do something home improvementy. What is the point of pinned cool shit if I don’t use it to make my life better?
So I thought – Boobs need milk. Oats make milk. I bought oats for breakfast. Not enough. BRIGHT IDEA! Make oatmeal cookies. PINTEREST.
This is what hers look like –
Things started off well. Then disaster struck. In my haste, I accidentally dumped the brown sugar into the flour bowl instead of the butter bowl. I didn’t have enough of any of the ingredients to restart. I tried as best as I could to scoop out the sugar and put it where it belonged. The result – brown looking flour and flour in with the mixture to be creamed. It’s all going to end up together isn’t it? She’ll be right, mate!
Turns out that is was alright. Maybe they would have been better if I wasn’t so clumsy, but D and I think they taste pretty darn good. Thank you Bake at 350! Here are my cookies –
Now the real test will come in the morning. Will my boobs be nice and full of yummy milk? Only time will tell. I did however, take a plate to my bff, Cassie’s house for her birthday. C is a chef and in my opinion the best cook in the world. Her cakes can take you away to places unknown and cause your taste buds to do dirty dances on your tongue. So for ME to take cookies to HER is a pretty nerve wracking experience. She liked them. Cookie success.
Here are a few pics from the celebrations.
Sorry peeps, no photos of me today. Sad, but true, my mojo seems to have wandered off again. What does a girl have to do to keep her mojo from disappearing? Wax, like more than once? Re-do her regrowth AGAIN? Gee wizz, the up keep of this mojo is pretty exhausting stuff 😉
So anyway, if you are having a problem with your milk bar, I say you should try what I have. Not 100% sure they will do anything for the lazy boobs, but they are pretty darn yummy. Actually, I am 100% sure they will make you fat, so please do try not to eat them all at once, and I accept no responsibility if you tip the scales at 1000ooo kg.