The hospital bag. Because my app told me to.


I realise that LSP will be here in 4 days, maybe even sooner.  I realise that I will be in hospital for 3ish days.  I realise that I’ll need some things for myself and LSP during that time, but jeebus, must I really pack so much freaking stuff?  Why is it that I am still putting this task off?  Pretty sure it’s just because I’m lazy.  Yep, that sounds about right!  I’ve been plagued by ‘cantbefuckeditis’ and you better watch out because this shit is catchy!


OK, so I went shopping on Monday for some essential hospital bag items.  My pregnancy app told me I needed these things. It also told me I needed a truck load of other stuff like massage oil and useless luxury items that I know I won’t use or need so I have only selected what I think is actually worthwhile.  Almost everything on these dumb hospital bag lists are geared at beautiful hippy labours where everything progresses in a timely fashion and goes according to your birth plan while listening to Enya.  I know better.  I’ve done labour, and I would have kicked anyone in the face if they tried to soothe me with Beethoven’s 5th or a relaxation massage.  Drugs, people – that’s all I wanted and to get thee to the operating room!


I bought:

  • Big black grandma high waisted undies with just the right amount of support for the incision, yet no annoying seams to irritate the crap out of my weirdo de-stretched jingly jangly jelly belly – check.
  • Pads, pads and more pads in all shapes, sizes and absorbancy – check.
  • Box of tissues for my many tears that will be shed, both happy and hormonal freak out tears – check.
  • Reeces Peanut Butter Cups, for sustenance of course – check.
  • Hand sanitiser for hospital germs – check.
  • Some new hair ties – desperately needed.  Some time during T’s labour I lost my hair tie and that was one of the most annoying parts of my hospital stay, not being able to tie my wild and woolly hair back.  Hair ties – check.
  • Lip balm because dry lips are my kryptonite – check (with a hint of colour so I look rosy, yet natural in photos – always thinking ahead).
  • Toothpaste – check.

I already had:

  • Breastpads, donated my friends – check.
  • Camera – check.  Must charge.
  • Nursing bras.  I prefer the good old Ahh Bras – check.
  • Hospital notes – check.
  • Phone and iPad, preloaded with Big Bang Theory and Glee (borrowed from K) – check.
  • Toiletries and make up.  Yes I need this, because hot diggity, I’ve seen better days! – check.
  • Comfy clothes – check.


The app says I need a going home outfit.  Why is this so?  I’ll have just had a baby, I won’t be attending a cocktail party or a discotheque.  Why will my going home outfit be any different to my ‘comfy hospital clothes’?  I’m pretty sure my going home outfit will consist of compression stockings, nana undies, ahh bra and anything else that is comfy and doesn’t hurt my tummy.  I couldn’t give two hoots whether or not I look glamorous.  I certainly won’t be leaving in my tightest pre-preg jeans or a mini skirt.  I won’t be photographed by the paparazzi, nor will my sexy compression stockings grace the cover of a fashion magazine, so who cares what I wear!  The only person who will care what I am wearing will be LSP and all she will be worrying about is if she can access my boobs.

This was my 'coming home outfit' when I had T.  I imagine this time around, it will be much the same.

This was my ‘coming home outfit’ when I had T. I imagine this time around, it will be much the same.  And also a perfect example of why I need to take make-up to cover up my puffy face.

I have some itty bitty clothes for LSP which I have just pulled out and now I am thinking that they might be too big!  Oh well, as long as she is warm, and has access to boobs she will be fine.  I have blankets to wrap her in and super soft tiny newborn nappies for her little bum.  Really, that is all she needs.  Oh and I’ll throw in my baby nail clippers for her first manicure.

Apparently I should be packing a bag for my partner.  Come on, if he wants to bring shit he can do that himself!  He is after all a 42 year old man, if he hasn’t learnt to take care of his own business by now then we are in serious trouble!  And when I say take care of his own business, I don’t mean ‘business’, although I am pretty sure he is a master in that domain too.

So now that I have all my stuff, it would be prudent to actually pack it at some point?  I am thinking tomorrow?  Or the next day?  I have PLENTY of time right?


Next job on the agenda, and one which the app says I should have already done is fit the car seat into the car.  First thing is first, clean the car of all the accumulated junk, rubbish and sand.  I don’t think I have even taken the van to the beach in the time that I have owned it.  How is my van full of sand?  A question which may never be answered.

That job I have thrown over to D.  He must clean out my van (until it sparkles) and fit the car seat tomorrow.  We also need to give putting in the double pram a trial run.  I am pretty nervous about being a double pram bandit.  Will people hate me when I take up so much room?

Wow.  Can’t believe I just blogged about my hospital bag.  Borrrrring.


To make things a little more interesting, here is a picture of T in his new pyjamas and a video of D and T rocking out.  We be jammin’.


One response »

  1. Too true about all the stuff your “recomended” to bring, I ended up not putting Isis in clothes untill the day we left hospital, I worked out early that if I keep putting her in the hospital supplied clothes and blankets then they do all the washing and I dont have a bag of baby stuff the wash when I took her home Mwhahahah! And for my comming home outfit I wore my pj pants lol

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