On Sunday, I packed up my 2 babies and drove to Brisbane with my mum to go to the Baby Expo. D doesn’t come with me to these types of things because he would rather drive a sharp pencil through his ear into his brain. I left him at home with the medium doodles to have a day of rest and relaxation without babies, hoping that he will return the favour soon. Well at least take all the doodles out and just leave me with the baby that sleeps.
Doing the expo with 2 babies is no joke. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster I had my mum with me because I would have lost my shit had I been on my own. Seriously impossible. For one thing, T is not a big fan of being contained in any one spot for too long. Like the pram. Or the teeny tiny playpen with 1 toy xylophone, missing its wooden mallet in the baby change area. Or a chair.
The thing about expos is there are thousands of people, so it necessary keep your toddlers contained or they will run off into oblivion, never to be seen again. So, how does one keep a flighty T happy in his pram? Food. A crap load of food. All the good stuff he likes – cake, cookies, treats, whisky, cigars (and sneak in some healthy food too). And balloons. ‘What’s that T? You want to get out and run around? Here, have a block of chocolate. And a balloon.’
I typically don’t do all that well in situations where there are a lot of people and lots of noise, and even though I love to go to an expo to see all the things and get some bargains, doing so can be a very traumatic experience. Throw in half a million prams all going in opposite directions and it is my idea of hell. Expos should be a one way only traffic zone, like IKEA. I said to Mum on the way up to Brisbane, ‘I am going to do my very best to remain calm today. Cranky Mummy has been left at home. Chilled Mummy is here to stay and she will not swear.’ My mum is well versed in my crowd anxiety issues.
I am pleased to say that Cranky Mummy didn’t show her face, she almost did, but I took a few deep breaths and told her to F off. That was fudge off by the way, because I didn’t swear. Honest. Like when we got a coffee to relax with while watching the Elmo and Cookie Monster Show. Did I say relax? Yeah right. This is what I think goes on in T’s head:
A chair, let me sit on it! The floor, let me sit on it! Run run, spin around! Funny Mummy, look it’s Elmo! Mum’s coffee, I want! What, can’t have? How about Yaya’s coffee? Oooo another baby, hello stranger, can I poke your baby in the eye? Mum is nursing Hazel, I’m going to climb on her lap. Cookie Monster ate a cookie. Can I have a cookie? Oh look, a gap between Mum and the pram, I’m going to squeeeeeze through and then RUN as far as I can! I’m going to scream now. Hey, give me some of your prawn wrap! Yuck, that’s not a cookie! Haha, you put down your coffee, whoops, too slow…
And it goes on and on and on… Until that is, I can breathe a sigh of sweet relief and strap him back in the pram for the next stint. ‘Here T, have a cupcake.’
The expo was actually well thought out and there were lots of places we could stop and let T blow off steam. He owned the changing/nursing area like a boss with his little lackey (aka my mum) running around after him while I fed H. We were able to pull up a pew while he played in the play zone and watched the Sesame Street Show. Apparently there were ‘rest zones’ situated around the expo but we couldn’t find them. Most importantly there was coffee. And wide isles. And lots of friendly faces. And coffee, did I mention coffee?
Something very cool happened to me at the expo, something I never thought would happen, but secretly wished would. I met someone who reads my blog. Dare I say, I met a fan? And not just one of my friends in real life that I force to read my blog, but someone I have never met before! Someone who reads my blog because they LIKE it and think I am a little bit funny, not because they feel obligated.
So I want to give a very personal shout out to my biggest fan Carmen, who was working on the Cushie Tushie stand on Sunday. I knew she was going to be there as she had asked me via my FB page if I was going to the expo and that I should stop by to say hello. I must say I felt a tad silly introducing myself. Who do I say I am? Sophia or The Taco? What a dick – Hey there, you must be Carmen, I’m the Taco! Anyway, I was very humbled by the experience. I almost feel like a real writer. Maybe I should have singed something for her, like a nappy?
Carmen showed me how to get a good fit on H with a Cushie Tushie. I did try yesterday on her, honestly I did, but I still personally think they are a bit bulky on the little babies. However, the CT certainly did its job and contained a super H poo and there were no leaks, so it is still a win. If I run short on H nappies, I can always whack a Cushie Tushie on her and know she will be dry. She also showed me how to use my night booster for T. I still have my babies in disposables at night as night nappies have always scared me. I love that my babies sleep all night and don’t want to mess with that. Last thing I need is babies waking up cold and wet, but I think I am ready to attempt using cloth at night and now that Carmen has given me a night nappy lesson I will be doing so soon – probably tomorrow night!
All in all, I had a good day. It was great to be able to simply bypass all things pregnancy and conception related and anything I already knew I wasn’t interested in or already had, like prams and nursery furniture and breast pumps. I kept crowd frustrations at bay and didn’t run into too many crazies (and when I say ‘run into’ I mean literally run em’ over in my massive red double pram). We came home with a sweet little haul of goodies and bargains, all of which I will tell you about in my next post.