Ewwww! You stinky, rotten, crotch sniffer!


If there is one thing that I absolutely hate, it is losing something.  No, that is not true.  I also hate it when D shaves his head and leaves the hair on the bathroom floor, and I hate it when I kick my toe on the trolley in the supermarket and have to act all cool like while trying to stifle all manner of swear words and I hate it when someone starts telling you something and then says ‘never mind, it’s not important’ – wtf? Tell me!

But I really really really really really hate losing stuff.  I always know where everything is.  Seriously, you can ask me where anything is and I can tell you, even in this messy house, I can find whatever D, L or K ask me for.  Sports uniforms, rubber bands, the lid for the rice cooker, a glue stick, ‘my other thong’, lunch money, the third Harry Potter book, keys, passports.  You name it, I can tell you where it is.

Only on the rarest of rare occasions, I loose something.  When D and I were first dating, nine years ago, I lost my sunglasses.  It almost drove me to the brink of insanity.  I ripped D’s unit apart looking for them in every crevice and under every towel, t-shirt and Tupperware container.  I searched my car more carefully that a forensic investigator looking for evidence and I called every single GD place I had been to that day.  Nothing but a mystery.  Sunglasses were just GONE, never to be seen again.  It bugged the shit out of me!  It still does nine years later.


Well, it has happened again.  I have lost something and it is making me crazy.


Yesterday I changed T’s nappy before we went to playgroup.  I tossed the wet one in the nappy pail that sits in the laundry tub.  When we returned, I changed T’s nappy again, but when I went into the laundry to put the dirty in the bucket I noticed that the morning nappy was now out of the bucket.  I remembered Chum-Lee jumping up there while I was throwing a load on before I left.  Ewww, gross, cat has been playing with the dirty nappy!

It was then that I noticed something was missing.  When I put the nappy back in the bin, I noticed that one of the inserts was missing!  The silly old cat has run off with my insert!

I looked high, I looked low.  I looked everywhere a panty-sniffing feline would go.  I went on an emu search around the yard, under every bed, in every cupboard, on every surface, even over the fence.  Do you think I could find it?  Nope.  Gone, just like my sunglasses.


Just thought of another thing that I hate.  Things with missing pieces.  Like jigsaw puzzles.  I will turn the lounge room upside down looking for the missing piece from one of T’s puzzles.  D says, ‘who fucking cares?’  I’ll tell you who – me!  I just can’t have a puzzle with a missing piece staring at me, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on anything else.

So now I have an incomplete nappy.  And I am hating it!  Stupid cat.



OK, now I am feeling really terrible.  I just finished writing that ^ and now there is something wrong with said crazy cat.

Chum-Lee has been sleeping on his chair in the garage all day, which I thought was unusual.  K and I checked on him before the boys went to bed and he seemed to just be hanging out.

Chum has just come out of the garage and is walking very slowly with a bit of a limp.  He won’t come to me and growled when I tried to pick him up or look at his leg.  I’ve checked him for ticks.  He won’t eat.  I am beside myself.  D is out watching the football.  Now he is hiding out in the back of my wardrobe.  Something is wrong with my furbaby.  I’m taking him to the vet first thing in the morning.  I’ll keep you posted 😦

We love you Chum-Lee, even if you are a naughty nappy insert stealer.  Please be OK.

We love you Chum-Lee, even if you are a naughty nappy insert stealer. Please be OK.

2 responses »

    • I hope not! he’s been to the vet and is in pain and very grumpy but we are still not sure why. He’s had a couple of injections and actually meowed and ate something when we got home. Improvement!

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