K and J are, as you know, 12 and 13. Teenagers. I have one word to say about that – Puberty. And raging hormones. And hair in weird places. All that surging testosterone zinging all over the place can make current living arrangements unpleasant at time. 12 and 13 year olds sharing a room is tough.
It was always our intention to give the medium doodles their own room. Teenage boys need privacy. They need their own special happy zone to fantasise about Taylor Swift or whoever teenage boys are masturbating over these days. We just needed them to continue sharing until the babies were on a solid sleep all night schedule, and then we could move them in together and separate the boys. I was thinking probably in the Christmas holidays.
Things unexpectedly came to a head recently. Doodles had gone to bed. I sat down at my computer for the first time all day to troll through Facebook and Pinterest – Mummy Porn, when K resurfaced saying he couldn’t sleep because J was masturbating. Very disturbing. In all honestly, he was ‘just pretending’ to annoy K (it worked), but he probably had a little happy time enjoyment (can’t believe I am saying this and it gives me the heebeejeebees just thinking about it) at the same time.
Me: OMG K said J is pulling the pud! WTF am I supposed to do with that information?
D: (Laughs at me) (jerk)
D: Time to give them their own rooms I think.
Me: (Panicking) Boys need Privacy yes, I get it, but I’m not ready! How will this impact MY SLEEP? I fear change! (hyperventilate)
This all happened a few weeks ago and I have done nothing but think about the whole room switch around ever since. T will move into H’s room and J will move into T’s. Sounds simple enough right? Wrong.
What happens to SLEEP? Will the babies start to wake each other up at night? Will this kick start the mother of all sleep regressions? Will they stay up gossiping about boobs and Elmo into the wee hours of the morning? And more importantly what am I going to do about redecorating the room?
So it is now the September holidays. It is time for ‘Operation move Theo into Hazel’s Room’. We thought we would move T first and give it a week to see how it goes. If all goes well we’ll separate the boys then. If it is a complete disaster and T and H party all night and I become the walking dead, then T goes back and we re-evaluate in a few months.
I’ve been talking to T about the big move for a few days. I always ask him if he understands and he say ‘eees’. Today I thought, no more talking. Let’s just do this thing. Now here comes the divorce part.
D is on holidays right, so I find him laying on the couch watching Ready Steady Cook.
Me: Hun, can you please come and help me move the T’s cot into H’s room quickly before Judge Judy?
D: What, you mean now?
Me: Well, yes. H needs a nap soon so now would be the time.
We start to carry cot out of the room. I get my end through the door. Other end gets stuck. We try again. Stuck. Damn.
D: It’s going to have to be pulled apart. (audible sigh)
Me: Ahhh crap. (sensing D’s frustration levels rising) You go watch Judge Judy (best wife award) and I’ll do it.
D: No I’LL do it. (best husband award)
A very clumsy disassemble of the cot happens. T is getting very excited. He wants to help which is adorable but more of a hindrance. We get all the pieces down into H’s room. T comes too, as does H. I have put this cot up and taken it down several times on my own so I know how it goes and I know it is easier with 2 people. I offer to help. D is grumpy (missing Judge Judy) and tells me the best way I can help is to take the babies away and he will do it on his own. I comply. Cue much banging and swearing from bedroom. He is gone for a while, but I can hear him muttering under his breath and slamming stuff around on the baby monitor and I can feel his exasperation as he can’t get the stupidfuckinggoddamn screws in. I take the babies outside and try to make them as quiet and angelic as possible. Finally he is done and he comes back and gives me that look. You know the one. The ‘I’m going to kill you dead’ look. He resumes couch position. I tell him how wonderful and awesome he is and love on him. T giggles and hugs him and H rolls over. Marriage is saved. Judge Judy is over.
Now that is all done, I get T to help me bring some of his favourite things into the new room and tell him he is going to sleep in H’s room now. He is super excited and wants to get in and out of his cot. In and out. In and out. Things are looking good.
Heading towards bedtime I begin to panic, but I needn’t have. T went to bed quite happily. He talked to himself and his bears for about 10 mins and then went to sleep. I finished nursing H and then took her in. T stayed asleep. H was sleepy and murmured to herself for a few minutes and then she went to sleep too. T didn’t wake up! No one cried, no one screamed, no one danced around in their cot like a crazy baby.
So far so good. It’s been 3 hours and they haven’t woken each other up yet. Fingers crossed for me please! Tomorrow may be fun. Not sure how we will go with the middle of the day nap. That could be tricky. Please if you have any advice or words of wisdom about babies sharing rooms please impart!
I will start taking nursery redecorating pictures soon and post when it is done.